Sonvy’s Story

0413142048gMy name is Sonvy. Yes, it’s a Norwegian name, bequeathed by my Norwegian parents–one an immigrant and the other the daughter of one. As an ACoA (adult child of an alcoholic), I have done serious study and writing about this sad condition that afflicts so many others. I am a writer who believes everything that happens to you (both good and bad) in life teaches you something important if you are open to it. Many people have come into my life, and I believe each has had a part in making me who I am–there’s a reason our paths have crossed. I am a musician (alto, piano and guitar teacher); quilter and seamstress; writer; wife of love of my life and favorite artist, Richard; mom; grand mom; and lover of animals, especially my fur babies Nellie Belle and Miss Monet. Writing has always been a love (indeed, a need) of mine as a way to connect with the world in which I live. Growing up on a farm with three brothers (one, my twin) and a neighborhood of boys, extended family far away, and no church or civic community, social isolation was significant. Opportunities to talk with real persons were limited. Added to my childhood picture was time in foster homes, an alcoholic father, and a mother with a tuberculosis relapse. Mom, who kept a journal faithfully for over fifty years and wrote numerous stories and poems, gave me my first diary when I was eight. This little red book with a brass lock and key got me started writing. When Dad’s alcoholism took over three years later, a pall of silence, shame, violence, and fear took over our home. I started letter writing, to cousins and a German pen pal with whom I corresponded faithfully for over ten years until I graduated from college and married. Writing was my salvation. It helped me grow up sane. Writing continues to keep me sane. I am blogging to learn to write better and to take in what good things other bloggers have to teach me. My naturally reserved, reflective nature (common Norwegian traits) has made me hesitate to jump in with both feet (in this case, both hands) :). Writing is an important means of communication for me, and I probably would have blogged long ago if it had been a possibility. Now is the time. My mother and mentor is gone now, but she left dozens of filled-up journals that still can speak to me of her thoughts, dreams, and burdens. Through this treasure chest of her writings, she is with me always. That is the power of writing. I want to gift my daughters and grandchildren with her stories as well as mine. So my writing continues as I hope to eventually complete my memoir–a missive of healing and survival, a testimonial to those who may see their story in mine and have hope. Grateful for life-giving years as a former teacher and pastoral minister/liturgist/music director, I continue to write and give thanks for my journey toward wholeness. I count each day as treasure. Sonvy

16 Comments

16 thoughts on “Sonvy’s Story

    • Thanks for stopping in to my blog……You are on a very difficult journey these days yourself….Know I am with you, hoping all will end well….tho the going may be rough now. As with my childhood….may these times be ones you can look back to and find the ways you became better because of it.

    • Yes, Jayne, I do believe that too……And how our paths ever crossed…..it must have been meant to be….And I am richer for all those I’ve encountered along the way! Love ya too…

  1. Sonvy, This is a great introduction to your journey. I am eager to hear more. Send that query letter out!

    • Thank you Carl for your comment….It means a lot..You and I traveled this journey a long time ago. All of it made us who we are….both good and bad. Parents were good and gifted people, but they were trapped in a life that wasn’t best for either…Still they gave us an inner strength and vision that has led us to today….I love you too..

    • Thanks, Ivo ..dear friend Appreciate any comments…….It is good to keep writing….it is becoming a great means of clarifying…of finding significant moments where they weren’t or aren’t immediately recognized or valued.

  2. Thank you so much for your affirmation! We’ve shared a lot of life my friend, and it’s all become a part of who I am….along with all this past that made me who I am. Love ya xxx

  3. Sonvy, Christina gave me you blog address — appreciate your writing and insights. I also had more than a decade of ACoA — mother and father. Finished by leading several workshops and have had the benefit of that time for several decades now. I tend to be the lone wolf and being a university professor just reinforces that. I link that to not having a good father model and continue not contributing to group or joint projects very well. I even do by books by myself. I believe I’ve had a life long fear of falling into their footsteps. I’m very thankful for my life and the chance to have life-learning opportunities from organizations such as ACoA. Really nice to be in touch. Say hello to Dick.

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